Busy Doing Nothing

You know how at the beginning of the year people make resolutions and decisions and all that jazz? Well, this year I actually did.

Seeing as I've been decluttering my personal possessions since Christmas (love a good clear out), I decided to have a bit of a life overhaul as well, which led to me handing in my notice 6 weeks ago on my day job. Now, if you know me in real life I've probably been bending your ear about exactly why I wanted to leave my job for quite some time, so I won't go into the exact reasons.

But the short version is that I'd become increasingly frustrated that I was juggling everything else (family, voluntary work, creative stuff) for a job that was making me (just a bit) miserable. So after discussing with my other half, and due to the fact that we are fortunate enough to manage on one salary for a while, I took the plunge. I felt like I wanted to leave before I became truly miserable - going into job interviews reeking of bitterness is not a good look...

My first official week out of work was last week, which was of course half term, so not much time to think about anything but entertaining the troops.  This week I'm trying to adjust of this strange new routine of time on my hands (between 9 and 3). School runs have already felt less stressful in the morning as I'm just focussing on dropping the children off, rather than seeing the school run as an irritation in the middle of my route to work.

There's been some dull housework stuff, sure, but also time to ride my bike, go for a swim and catch up on my knitting. Plus I've really been able to give some time to some voluntary projects, without guiltily having to squeeze it into my lunch break.

I finished a lovely new pair of socks (above) in time for my birthday last week, I made a pencil skirt from scratch (and without a pattern), I went to a foot-stomping Ska night on Saturday and have seen plenty of friends.

I feel like I'm still exhaling with relief, as my shoulders loosen up with the realisation that I have some time to decide what to do next.

Good Enough

Having been lulled into a false sense of security in the holidays, where all I had to do was drop the children at holiday club and then go to work, it was a bit of a shock to get back into the swing of everything that primary school brings with it. So now there's lunchboxes, after school activities, listening to reading, checking spellings, dressing up days, coming up with an Anglo Saxon village crafted from weetabix and string. Possibly...

It got me thinking about my life, and whether I am 'good enough' in different areas. It's something I've also spent time talking about with other women recently, and there seem to be common themes emerging. For instance, it feels like it's not enough to just hang about at home with a toddler and a baby doing the stay-at-home-parent bit. Oh no, now you have to do that (making sure that you're doing all sorts of worthwhile and enriching activities with them, *not* mainlining Cbeebies into their eyeballs) plus setting up your own business on the side, probably involving upcycling vintage milk churns.

My children are older and at school, and as I *only* work part time my tiny little brain seems to think I should have plenty of time for not just paid work but unpaid stuff sitting on committees, helping out at school, attending *all* school events (after all, I have flexible working, there's no excuse!), cooking delicious and nutritious meals from scratch every day. Preferably using ingredients either foraged from the hedgerows or shopped for daily from chi chi la la independent retailers with whom I have a deep and personal connection.

And then there's the creative side. A quick glance at Pinterest informs me that I'm probably slacking in the homemade gift department please don't mention fucking Christmas.  And I'm not drawing enough, sewing enough or or or or...

Except of course, this is ridiculous.  I'm doing this to myself, and I'm sure there are some of you out there who do it too. So I'm trying to say to myself that I really am good enough.

My children go to school every day - big tick
I go to work and get paid - big tick
We finally have new signage outside our local community centre - big tick
I'm going to WI tonight - big tick
I've just finished a pair of socks - big tick
We will eat tea tonight - big tick

And breathe...

Apologies for the rant, I have a cold and may be a little grumpy.

Make Sunday Special

You'd be proud of me, we did a proper Family Outing today. It involved raincoats (at first) and interaction with the children and everything...

Make Sunday Special is an initiative dreamt up by Bristol's elected Mayor. Several of the streets in the centre of the city are closed to traffic one Sunday a month - or as one of the signs put it, the streets were 'open for people'. All sorts of free street entertainment and activities were laid on.

We took advantage of a (for once) bargainous bus ticket - FirstBus are offering a family bus ticket for just five quid on Make Sunday Special days (usually it's £8). This means that it's starting to be comparable to paying for parking.

When we got to town we had a wander. It felt really strange walking down the middle of a road that's usually full of cars, particularly as the traffic lights were still cycling round as normal. Which reminds me, there were *loads* of bikes around too, and lots of cycle-related activities. A quick shower of rain sent us scurrying under the nearest gazebo which happened to be one offering a rosette-making workshop. The children set to work and Youngest wore her rosette all day.

Then of course the sun came out, which makes wandering about with the children much more enjoyable. The Ambling Band provoked much jiggling in the children, and they also enjoyed playing with a musical instrument maze set up by Acoustic Arts.


We even managed to fit in a bit of Gromit Spotting...